Saturday, February 20, 2010

Memorable Senior Moments

As you can see from the sidebar, I have added a new topic to the blog. Memorable Senior Moments came about when Dan, who was sitting across the room from Jerry, asked "do you often wear different shoes?" Because of the destinct design on the bottom of Jerry's white sneakers (tread design and color blocks made it easy to see that they were different)Dan was able to see that clearly, the two sneakers Jerry had on, and had been wearing since the first part of the morning, some two hours before, were obviously, different shoes. The only similarity, and understandable from Jerry's vantage point, was that both sneakers were white and similarly broken in. They were definitely not the same style, and must have felt sort of different on each foot, but he had not noticed. I found this to be particularly humerous, and felt no shame in pointing a finger and saying "you've got to be kidding me, you didn't notice that?" In the interested of saving SOME of Jerry's dignity, I of course would not have posted this faux pax online, except that not two days later I suffered a similar indignity, albeit privately, but nonetheless a Senior Moment. I got dressed Friday morning and shoved my feet into my most favorite canadian shearly boots with suede fringe and gum soles. These boots are COMFORTABLE and WARM, both criteria necessary for me to even consider wearing them. As I've said before, my fashion slave days are long over. If I could wear these boots underneath formalwear, I would do so, and I am not done yet making that call. Beware-it may become an option further down the line, but again, I digress. So here I am, with my comfortable boots on, ready to go to work, and they just don't feel RIGHT. I was a little disturbed, thinking "damn, are they getting old and feeling worn down?" I wore them for another 20 minutes or so when I realized that I should use the facilities before I head down the mountain and go to work. As I was sitting in the bathroom, with a full vantage point of my feet for more than the cursory glance, it became glaring apparent that I had put the shoes on backwards. Not toe-to-back or back-to-front (that would have been REALLY scary) but side to side. Left shoe on right foot, right shoe on left foot. Now I realize that the only way this could possibly have gotten by me is that they were symetrically wrong. I am so in tune to symmetrical that I was unable to even watch the OJ trial on TV because the pictures hanging on the wall behind Judge Ito were hanging crooked. It was too much for me; but yet again, I digress. This symmetrical faux pax was frightening in its implications. How long could I have gone with this shoe problem before I realized it, and what could be next? Leaving the house in my pajamas? Wearing my SLIPPERS to work? Senior Moments are a frightening thing. You have to experience it more than once to realize the possibilities of humiliation and confusion. At that point I decided that we should post these moments,one: to share for posterity, and two: to keep some kind of a record for our own edification. If the column to the right gets to be longer than the blog itself, I guess it is time to seek medical attention, or some type of assistance. Clearly, we are in this together, as our moments occurred not three days apart. Are we losing it simultaneously? I sure hope so. As usual, my competitive nature has kicked in and now we are keeping a pretty scary score-who is losing it faster. In the meantime, you can enjoy our mutual humiliation. As Bette Davis said, "Getting Old is not for sissies". Boy ain't that the truth! I am proud to announce that today, I am fully dressed and wearing my shoes on the right feet. I think. If you find me wandering down on Main Street, just point me towards home, I'm sure it'll come back to me eventually.

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