Saturday, August 28, 2010

For a type A personality such as myself, saving something for a rainy day is not possible, because any undone chore or activity is something that must be attended to. And so, because I have a stash of fiber that is unspun and unknitted means not that I will have something to do each day of the upcoming fall and winter, but that all of it should have been done already and checked off in the "finished" column. This is how Type A's become overworked and stressed out. Because everyone has something they're holding onto so that they can take care of it at another time. An unfinished knitted sweater or hat, a book that you would like to read but haven't gotten to yet. A phone call that you want to make when you have enough time to really chat with the recipient. All of these are admirable and reasonable activities to save to another time. And yet, as a Type A, they loom behind me as a black cloud of activity. I can't knit fast enough or read fast enough of find that perfect time to make the phone call because these are EXTRA activities - Things you do when your REAL things are done. Which never happens because Real things never really get done. No sooner do you load the dishwasher then it has to be unloaded and put away. As soon as I finish clearing up from Lunch, it's dinner time. Life is a never-ending procession of activities and so putting something off for a rainy day simply means I can't do it today. And this is cause for stress. So when someone recommends an activity to de-stress your world, be very very careful which recommendations you take on. I have alot of yarn for hats and sweaters and blankets and all of these balls of yarn are calling to me. And they're not being nice when they call. "Slacker" is what I'm hearing from the balls of yarn. "Procrastinator" from the bookshelves. These are the little voices that accompany my self-recriminating calls of "empty the dryer before things wrinkle!" The self-imposed caution that I am really having trouble following is to not buy too many books for the shelf. For me, the sign of true wealth is having a room full of un-read books on the shelf, just waiting for me to grab one and get started. I could live in a box by the side of the road and as long as it has loaded bookshelves I am a wealthy woman. Happily, all of us here share that same love of reading and so there are evenings when the TV never gets turned on - we're all involved in our own stories. And loading the bookshelves is something I truly enjoy. Until I start to really see how many unread books are there, and then that Type A kicks in again and i start to worry that I'm not really reading fast enough. So you see the dilemma. It's hard to complete the task of reading all the books when really what I like to see is a wall full of unread books. I'm at odds with myself. Today I will choose to read the book. For now.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Goodbye Summer

The summer is officially over. Not due to the weather, but due to the fact that swim team practice started this morning. And so, the mornings of sleeping in and waking up when I'm not tired anymore, as opposed to waking up when I have to wake up Allison and drive her into town, are over. I definitely have mixed emotions. Because dropping Allison off at practice also means that my previous Sophmore is now a Junior, and this I am not happy about. Of course we all love to see our children grow up and become self-sufficient and productive adults, it is so hard to let them go. This is the last one to "flee the nest" and although that is still a few years away, it is on my mind all the time. Every "milestone" for her is the "last one" for me. Kind of opposing purposes don't you think? That would explain alot of our conflicts. Not that they need explaining. The very fact that she is almost 16 and I am not is enough of an explanation for anyone. We don't live on the same planet. Every so often we come together in a shared emotion or opinion and that is a beautiful thing. Every so often is not a frequent occurence. We live with it-it's temporary. We have named our ground hog-He is Caroga Carl, and we will be spotting and following him throughout the fall into the winter months. If we can keep him fed with cracked corn we should be able to find him on ground hog day, and that will be an exciting day. Imagine not having to depend on Puxatawny Phil for our spring prediction? Not that we put much stock in his opinion. Pennsylvania is way south of us, and so our winter and spring do not have much in common. So plan on hearing Caroga Carl's prediction February 3,2011. We thrive on these little things. Another thing to look forward to as summer wanes.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

wah wah wah

As someone who was raised under the rule of "if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't speak", I have been finding it increasingly difficult to blog. Lately, my positive energy and sunshiny outlook have been buried under the sludge of reality. None of these challenges are life threatening and I feel I ought to be able to rise above and triumph, but I find myself really struggling with the day-to-day of celiac disease. Call me a baby, but I really like my gluton. I liked my sugar too and have learned to work around that craving. Now the gluton has been "taken away", which is a juvenile way of looking at this diagnosis, but I will own up to it. Taken Away is how I feel about these dietary restrictions and my psyche is fighting back. Each meal is a challenge in positive thinking. Except Saturday's meal. Knowing I was in the throes of feeling sorry for myself and really wallowing in these circumstances, Jerry suggested a lobster dinner. Have I mentioned that Jerry is my hero? Lobster rates up there as one of my most favorite things to eat, and it just so happens that it has NO GLUTON. NONE! And so, I was able to chow down without remorse or side effect. Thank you Jerry. It helped. I am still struggling each day, and learning which products and choices work for me. Just because something is "gluton free" does not mean it is something you would like to eat. Many of these options are things that I would not choose to eat if I were on a desert island, and unless I have a rapid attitude adjustment I may find myself on just such an island. So, as life's challenges pile up (isn't that what aging is all about - gathering experiences?) I am trying to deal with them as gracefully as possible. Today may be better than yesterday. We're all hoping. My flower pressing skills are improving and I am hoping to have a nice collection by winter when I will finally sit down and attempt to arrange these dried specimens into something artistic and beautiful. The shortened days are forcing me to pick and press just a little faster. Home improvements continue, and our porch is finally done. The woods are ringing out with practicing gun toters, and Bailey is finding his spot behind the recliner to be safer and guaranteed. The shaking and quaking has subsided. I think he feels secure here now. It's a nice commentary on our dog-rehabilitation skills. He's happy. That makes me happy. We're looking forward to labor day weekend. We have secured tickets to the Charlie Daniels Band concert at the Fonda Fair (local county fair) and it should be a real good time. Unfortunately, the beerfest that was the Charlie Daniels of my youth will not be happening. Beer has Gluton. Rats.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Catching Up

OK ,these Pictures not in the order I wanted but they are up and posted.
Baby Michael Collins made it here In August and we are all so happy.
Mother , Father and Baby are all doing well.
We Visited with our new grandchild last weekend and he is just Sooooooo Cute!
Jen Held & Sang to Michael for a good hour. Jen's Looking Like a Young Mother herself,
On the other Hand I'm getting older looking, in Leaps & Bounds
Here's the Old Fat Bastard Holding his Grandson.
Baby Michael on the day he was Born.
Jackie and Jessie came up to the Camp a couple weekends ago with an over night stay, then they headed North to
Niagra Falls. It Was Good to see them, Need them to stay longer. Walter been Just working hard and rumor has it that.....Labor Day He will be visiting.
Ali Has been down state for almost three weeks visiting and coming home in the next couple days, Just in time for Swim Team Practice.......GO ALI !!!!!
Brian Is as most of you heard in the NYC Police Academy So we don't expect to see him for a while. Best Of Luck Brian, They are lucky to have you!
I have taken a Job in Security, working in Albany. It's almost like working back at the old Job. Talk to most retired cops and they will tell you it's not the JOB they miss....It's the Friends that they made along the way that they miss.
Making some new Friends ( Mostly Retired Cops) Having some Laughs along the way.
Jen & I are Just about done with the construction of the front porch, and it appears any day now the new siding will be going up which will really give the old camp some curb appeal.
Seems that Summer is starting to wind down here in the Adirondacks....Labor Day will mark the end of summer but will also mark the start of our heating season here at the camp. Leaves are already starting to turn a little and if you watch close you can see some dropping.
I'm sure I missed some things , that's about all for now.
Til Next Time Gang.....Jerry
Ps. Rochester , You are our Biggest Fan,

Thursday, August 5, 2010


Our hearts are bursting with the joy and relief of a safe and healthy delivery of our Grandson Michael Collins III. What a great day! We got the call last night, and Nicole and her son (her son! how cool!) are doing just fine. We will be seeing them all this weekend and cannot wait to be formally introduced to the little guy! I am in the process (as we speak) of "prepping" for my procedures tomorrow, and I am learning exactly how tuned into my kitchen I actually am. The thought of not being able to "graze" through the day has me in a bit of a panic. I'm just very used to eating and testing and balancing my blood sugars throughout the day with food and drink. I am limited today to clear fluids and at 10:29 AM I can say that I am ready to go to bed and call it a day. It's not working for me. My cereal in the morning is the first thing I missed, and trying to balance my sugars without food is really a challenge for me. I really like my food. Don't we all? Anyway, that's my day. I will probably go to bed around 6 PM because that will just bring me a bit closer to tomorrow and getting this whole thing "behind" me. Pun intended. It's the right thing to do, and so I do it. Many have gone before me, I am fearless! Well, sort of. Summer is winding down and yesterday I made my first "september" appointment. Turning that page to Sept. was painful. I'm not quite ready this year. I haven't done a number of things I planned, and I feel as though time is no longer something I can control. It's a scary feeling. But scarier is the thought that at some time I thought I COULD control time. What was I thinking? Who was I kidding? I guess I get a little philosophical this time of year. August has lately been the month of loss. My parents both passed in August, and the events of 2005 for me have taken a long time to process. I am acutely aware of how brilliant and how fleeting life really is. Although I knew that before, I am so concious of it on a daily basis now, that sometimes it is overwhelming. Being so aware of life is often a gift, often a burden. Even blogging takes on "higher" aspirations. What am I trying to say, and is it worth saying on a public blog? Some days I'm clear on that some day I have no idea. I guess what I would like to know is that I am taking every day and bringing something of value to the table of life. My friendship, my love, my passions. Are we all bringing something to the table besides our wants and needs? We are adding to our family, to our circle. I don't have to figure out the answer of life. I just have to enjoy it. Eat something good today. I will join you tomorrow.