Friday, October 24, 2008

Just thoughts. . .

As seen in the Leader Herald classifieds - FREE-Leaves for decoration. You rake and take away.
??????? Are they kidding? If you look out any window here in the northeast, you could see more leaves than you could ever DECORATE with, right outside your backyard. It must be a joke. Ya think? I love that paper.
We're just enjoying the fact that it's Friday today. Allison has her last home swim meet, and we're expecting guests. It is promising to be a busy weekend, and we're looking forward to the upstairs renovation moving forward. It's raining sheetrock dust and it's losing it's charm. When you can write your name in the furniture after you've just dusted, it's time to quit. Speaking of quitting, I'm a PT quitter. I hate physical therapy, and until I meet with the orthopedist on Monday, I just can't do it. It is too painful, and brings no reward. I had a breakthrough a few weeks ago, but then I experienced a huge setback due to driving. I am now in constant pain and any manipulation at all is excruciating. So. Until Monday, I'm giving up. I went to physical therapy on Wednesday and only did the heat pool and heat therapy. After that I felt wiped out. This is a huge problem. As I told the therapist, and anyone else who will listen, I'm not aging as gracefully as I would have hoped. Somewhere in my mind I pictured a lovely but aging Audrey Hepburn, doing good works while looking ethereal and stoic. That would be me. Instead, I'm more resembling Shelly Winters in the Poseidon Adventure. What the hell is happening here? I can't seem to control things the way I used to. If I was having a fat day in the past, I just drank water and exercised a little and felt more like myself right away. Now my fat days are lasting weeks, and the water is being retained and added to my ankles. It is becoming a daily crapshoot that I don't want to be playing. I'm complaining way more than I like. Who is this ailing and decrepid woman who is facing me in the mirror? I know this is a temporary setback, but it is scary nonetheless. Constant pain can make you crazy. I'm just not myself, whoever that is. I actually attempted to win a screaming fight this morning with a teenager. Silly me. We all know that can't be done. There is no winner in a screaming fight, and certainly not when your opponent is 14. I know this intellectually, but adding the snippy know-it-all to my morning routine was more than I could bear. So, I engaged in heated discussion about the necessity of a coat when the temperature is 23 degrees. I should know better. I get up in the middle of the night to make sure that the blankets have not slipped off my baby, and cover her up if they have. A silent tuck-in that I have performed since they were all babies. And now she's running out in freezing weather in a sweatshirt? Just shoot me. So, today I will fixate on my swelling ankles and the pain in my shoulder. I believe that may be a healthier self-preserving alternative. Or, I could decorate with leaves. I hope I have enough. If not, I know where I can get some.

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