Thursday, September 9, 2010

Happy 16th Birthday Baby Girl

It is 12:30 PM and so far today I have gotten dressed and had breakfast. Lunch is still a ways off because breakfast was kind of late. These are my activities so far today. This does not bode well for a productive or inventive lifestyle. When I pick up Allison from swim practice at 5:30 PM, I will grab a few husks of corn and make corn chowder for dinner. This is my big plan for today. I have a few projects on the sticks, but not feeling inspired to pick them up today. There are quite a few books on the shelves that are begging for a reader, but even that requires some semblence of concentration and I'm not feeling that either. My baby girl is turning 16 tomorrow. Could this be the reason for my malaise? It very well could be. As far back as I can remember, the only thing that was most important to me was that I wanted to be a Mother and raise a family. This was first; in my life, in my dreams and in my reality. Now that all my children have been basically "raised" and do not necessarily need my undivided and constant attention and concern, and if we strive for raising healthy and self-sufficient members of the human race, I should be happy that they are all self-sufficient and healthy and productive and creative. Allison still has a few years before she is completely ready to fly the coop, and I hope that it is later rather than sooner, but essentially she needs my gentle guidance, not the strong hands and discipline that was needed when she was young. And really, strong hands for Allison meant "please don't do that". She usually heard me the first time and understood the request. Actually, pretty darn easy as far as youngsters go. But I shall not jinx her next few years under our guidance and leave it at that. She is a good kid. They all are, which makes me miss them all the more when they go out on their own, or even just goes from 7 AM to 5:30 Pm without calling me. It's what we want for them, and what makes it so bittersweet when it happens. And if I do not want to become a "helicopter Mom", which is the new term for a hovering constant presence in your child's life, than it is important for me to back off and let her do some things without necessarily examining every detail to distraction. We have raised a smart cookie and need to let her be smart and make those good choices. In my perfect world that will be the outcome. I said I wouldn't hover, I didn't say I wouldn't worry. That I can do full time and with a vengeance. I still worry about all of them, and I will until the day I take my last breath, which will probably be while giving some kind of instruction or blessing. Let them go. Easier said then done. Happy 16th Birthday sweetie pie. I am in awe every time I look into your beautiful eyes and see into your magic and kind soul. You are my sunshine. Love Mom. P.S. Wear a jacket. I'm sharing a few photos from our weekend, Charlie Daniels concert, and Allison on her first day of school. So shoot me, I still take first day of school pictures. :)

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