Saturday, August 28, 2010
For a type A personality such as myself, saving something for a rainy day is not possible, because any undone chore or activity is something that must be attended to. And so, because I have a stash of fiber that is unspun and unknitted means not that I will have something to do each day of the upcoming fall and winter, but that all of it should have been done already and checked off in the "finished" column. This is how Type A's become overworked and stressed out. Because everyone has something they're holding onto so that they can take care of it at another time. An unfinished knitted sweater or hat, a book that you would like to read but haven't gotten to yet. A phone call that you want to make when you have enough time to really chat with the recipient. All of these are admirable and reasonable activities to save to another time. And yet, as a Type A, they loom behind me as a black cloud of activity. I can't knit fast enough or read fast enough of find that perfect time to make the phone call because these are EXTRA activities - Things you do when your REAL things are done. Which never happens because Real things never really get done. No sooner do you load the dishwasher then it has to be unloaded and put away. As soon as I finish clearing up from Lunch, it's dinner time. Life is a never-ending procession of activities and so putting something off for a rainy day simply means I can't do it today. And this is cause for stress. So when someone recommends an activity to de-stress your world, be very very careful which recommendations you take on. I have alot of yarn for hats and sweaters and blankets and all of these balls of yarn are calling to me. And they're not being nice when they call. "Slacker" is what I'm hearing from the balls of yarn. "Procrastinator" from the bookshelves. These are the little voices that accompany my self-recriminating calls of "empty the dryer before things wrinkle!" The self-imposed caution that I am really having trouble following is to not buy too many books for the shelf. For me, the sign of true wealth is having a room full of un-read books on the shelf, just waiting for me to grab one and get started. I could live in a box by the side of the road and as long as it has loaded bookshelves I am a wealthy woman. Happily, all of us here share that same love of reading and so there are evenings when the TV never gets turned on - we're all involved in our own stories. And loading the bookshelves is something I truly enjoy. Until I start to really see how many unread books are there, and then that Type A kicks in again and i start to worry that I'm not really reading fast enough. So you see the dilemma. It's hard to complete the task of reading all the books when really what I like to see is a wall full of unread books. I'm at odds with myself. Today I will choose to read the book. For now.
at 2:01 PM